For ten years, Nancy had been
learning how to kiss Frank Hardy. Months apart meant that she had learned how
to kiss other men, as well.
The last time she'd been in
another anonymous hotel room, waiting for the sunrise and the end of her
assignment, she'd fallen asleep wondering how Ned kissed.
She'd known he was drunk when she
watched him negotiate the front stairs, finding the task of walking, keeping
himself as dry as possible, and holding a wine bottle all at the same time
close to impossible. The cabbie had waited for her to give him another address,
but when she watched Ned vanish into his apartment house, she found a cry had
risen to her lips, a demand that he come back to her and finish what the night
was to have started.
His collar was open, his eyes
glazed over from the lateness of the hour and the wine and the despair was
almost visible on his face, but his entire expression changed when she said the
words, the words that had been on her lips since she'd first heard him say
them.
Now her heart was in her throat as
he stepped forward, slow, careful, deliberate, closing the space between them
in a single stride, and she found her eyes fluttering shut as he silently
lowered his face to hers.
He kissed her slow at first, his
lips hovering just above hers, the electricity immediate and undeniable, before
their mouths met, her chin raised almost defiantly, the coat wet and heavy on
her bare shoulders. He slipped one hand up to cup her cheek, their mouths
separated with an audible pop as she dropped her chin, and she had just drawn a
single swift breath when he was kissing her again.
Her knees went weak.
He tasted like wine and she knew
she did, she knew it burned on her tongue and hot in her throat, but she made a
soft noise, too close to a moan for comfort, when his tongue touched hers. His
fingers slipped down, beneath the damp curtain of her hair, to curl at the nape
of her neck, and she reached for him blindly when he didn't deepen the kiss,
suddenly afraid that if she didn't touch him, she would just fall to the floor,
unable to stand on her own. Her palm slid up his arm to his shoulder, her
fingers tight against the muscle as he tilted his head and his mouth found hers
again. Her nails rasped against the back of his shirt as she swept them toward the
back of his neck, the folded warmth of his collar.
He gasped her name when they
pulled apart. His eyes were hazed, his expression soft, but he shook his head
and seemed to come to himself, stepping back and gesturing for her to follow
him in.
She kept her fingers just barely
brushing the crook of his arm as they came inside, teetering on her heels. She
shrugged out of her coat and his palm brushed the bare line of her back before
he swept it out of her arms. She turned to him, her lips slightly parted, and
their gazes met, and the look in his eyes...
He kissed her again and she took a
half-step back, startled, and he followed, until the backs of her legs brushed
against against the straight back of the couch. She returned his kiss, her hand
lifting to brush over his hair, sighing when he pulled back again.
"Nan."
She smiled. "That was even
better than I thought it would be," she murmured.
He was studying her mouth, and
then she felt his fingertips brush hers. "I'm sorry, did you want to sit down?"
She laughed at the expression in
his eyes. "Sure," she said, and as Ned vanished into the
half-kitchen, she unfastened her high sandals, wiggling her toes. When he came
back he held a glass of water in each hand, and she took hers gratefully.
He flipped on the television set,
and Nancy waited a moment, until he turned to gaze at her again, before she
took the remote and thumbed the volume down to a whisper.
"You didn't give me a chance
to respond to anything you said back there."
Ned looked down at his hands.
"I know," he mumbled. "I kind of didn't want to hear whatever
you'd say."
Nancy nodded, half to herself.
"I think you loved that girl, the one who broke your heart," she said
softly. "And when she broke up with you..."
He half-smiled. "It's in the
past," he said softly.
She reached over and touched his
chin. "No it isn't," she replied, "not if you've let it convince
you that you're not good enough, for me or anyone else."
"Yeah, well..." he
spread his arms in a sweeping gesture, standing again, his shins brushing the
coffee table, the water rippling in her glass. "How can I compete with
anything else in your life--"
She stood swiftly and pulled him
down to her so quickly that he had no time to protest or resist, and cut him
off with her kiss. When she pulled back they held each other's gazes, breathing
hard, and he reached for her again, his lips parting, her eyelashes fluttering
against his cheek as her mouth opened under his. She heard the scrape of the
glass against the coffee table as her calf brushed into it, and when they
pulled apart again she gently shoved him back to the couch, her eyes hooded.
"Stop it," she said,
gasping in another breath.
He met her eyes, his gaze
confused, then leaned forward and rested his palm against the curve of her hip.
"This?"
She shook her head, staring past
his eyes, then smiled. "You must think Frank hung the moon."
Ned's expression turned slightly
darker at that, his fingers curling to her back. "Not really," he
muttered.
Nancy sighed and took her seat on
the couch again, noting with some amusement that his arm came to rest against
her shoulders. "Can you promise me something?"
"Depends on what it is,"
he said softly.
She leaned in close to him and
pressed her lips lightly against his cheek and the corner of his mouth.
"Give me a chance," she murmured. "Even if you can't give
yourself a chance, give me one. Give us one."
"To do what?" He traced
his fingers down her cheek, pressing his lips against the corner of hers. She
closed her eyes.
"To prove you wrong,"
she whispered. "I want to see if this can work, really work, I want
to..." She sighed, shivering when his lips brushed her jaw. "I want
us to date and go have fun like a normal couple and stumble through everything,
and... what I do, it's not who I am. Ned, I'm nothing special."
He laughed, and she shivered again
when his breath fell warm on her neck. "Yeah you are."
She took his head in her hands and
forced his gaze to meet hers. "Try. For me."
He nodded, leaning forward to kiss
her again, and despite herself, it was the wine and the lateness of the hour
and oh God, he knew how to kiss, and she melted against him.
"I'll try," he
whispered, just before he kissed her again. "As long as you keep...
helping... me."
"No argument here," she
laughed, and after their kiss she let her forehead rest against his.
"Look, Ned..."
"I am."
She opened her eyes and found him
staring into hers. "You look..."
"What?"
She pursed her lips, which made
him laugh. "Relieved," she said, slowly.
"I don't know what I would
have done if you hadn't broken up with him," he admitted. "I think I
kind of..."
"Kind of... what?"
"I think I knew that night in
the bar..." He brushed her hair away from her forehead, and tracked the
path of his hand instead of meeting her eyes. "I think I knew you were my
last chance to get this right."
"To get what right?"
A smile flirted with his lips.
"A happy life," he said, so faintly she had to lean even closer to
hear him, and she obeyed the sudden impulse to duck in and press her lips
against his neck, the hard beat of his pulse, and she smiled when she felt it
jump in return.
"At least now you're willing to try."